Monday, January 5, 2009

Finally A Step Forward

The New Year has already begun some real changes in my life. Sometimes you can really feel God’s presence and guidance and this is one of those times for me. Occasionally I search the Intranet for welcoming churches and one really caught my attention around nine months ago and I finally went to this church on Sunday (What a great way to start the New Year). What finally encouraged me to go was an acquaintance (although she is an acquaintance I have always felt very comfortable with her.). She told me her and her girlfriend were looking for a church. I listened and finally told her I knew of a church she might want to try (Knowing this would reveal a little too much about me, but I just felt she might like this church.). Her previous church had thrown her out because she was a lesbian. We went outside and talked for quite a long time and I finally told her the truth and this was such a liberating feeling. What a great feeling it was to let someone know who I truly am and this made me so happy. Church was a great experience and I found out this is where a lot of people from my particular theological background have been going (I felt out home for the first time in a long time and there is so much more I could say.). And the spiritual hunger in these people was incredible and how absurd it is the Church turns them out. I think God must be very upset with this ostracism (And it isn’t the first time the Church has been so incorrect on a subject for those of you who think you are so correct. I dare you to study the subject fromw writers who oppose your views). And some day God will get real upset and another Martin Luther will step up, but maybe this is already happening. Despite this great weekend Monday morning I woke up with such fear and I felt like I was betraying everyone in my life. I almost started hyperventilating. It is amazing so much fear surrounds my religious beliefs isn’t Christ suppose to set the captives free? Most in particular I felt like I was betraying my spiritual mentor and how upset she will be once this all comes out. And this is causing me great grief what this will do to her.