Thursday, February 19, 2009
Since the beginning of the year I have been attending a gay affirming church. I was totally frightened to go, but once I got there I absolutely loved being at this church. I really like this church, the people, and the pastor. I haven’t felt at home in a church in a long time and I really like what the church is trying to accomplish. And I felt totally relaxed with everyone which is kind of really different for me. I think throughout my life I have felt like an outsider in a way. Theologically the church is more what I believe so this is also really nice. I look forward to Sundays and Mondays are disappointing because Monday is the furthest day away from Sunday. On the down side I am still leading this double life (Actually I am finding out I have never really had much of a life just a bunch of accomplishments.). I don’t think that I will ever be able to acknowledge who I really am to family and friends. Mentally I have a lot of things to work through mostly regarding religion and my family (Which for me is about everything.). I am discovering many things about myself one of which is I have a lot to learn about relationships. I wish I could let people closer particularly at my new church.