"Hi" - 1/11/11

I have been taking a break for a while there has been much going on in my life. Unfortunately, (or maybe it is just where I am) I am still in the closet. I am not ready to take this step yet. Besides that everything has been going well. I am beginning to see that my personal happiness is not based on situations or people. It has been unusually cold in Southern California so I have been able to wear my wool coat at night which usually hangs in my closet. Even during the day there is a chill in the air and so it is necessary to dress warmer than usual, but it is at this time I realize most of my clothes consists mainly of really thin material made for a warm climate. I think of buying warmer clothes, but in the back of my head I think why, it might be 100 degrees tomorrow. The birds in Arkansas, the fish dying around the world, and this magnetic polar shift kind of have me wondering about what is going on along with this extreme weather we are having around the world. A couple of nights ago I watched this great movie about Troy Perry, the founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, entitled Call Me Troy. You can watch it online and it makes you realize how far things have come for gays and lesbians over a short period of time. Being a history buff it amazes me it was just last year I found out about Stonewall so I am having fun discovering other events that were censored from me in my education. Certain ideas and impressions were so ground in me it helps to watch these things for self discovery. At the present time I am trying to find out what has been so inbreed in me that it makes it unthinkable for me to come out to my family and friends.